My OCD Intrusive Thoughts

Gripping thoughts,     
Haunt my mind.
Causing me,
To act in kind.
Why are they so intrusive,
Bossing me around.
Forcing me to be immoral,
Why in MY head are they found?
I know I shouldn’t do it,
But my mind tells me I must.
And several times I give in,
So in my strength I’m losing trust.
I take each day at a time,
Trying just to push ahead.
“What if I give in now?”
The thought fills me with dread!
Everyone will judge me,
They’ll say I am to blame.
For them it’s really hard,
To view me as the same.
Mental health is physical health,
So why don’t you understand?
I didn’t ask for this illness,
Hashem placed it in my hand!
It’s just that in my head,
There are two sides to my mind.
And when the ill side’s in the center,
It leaves the other far behind!
I try to fight with logic,
But to no avail.
The more I fight the more I find,
The healthy side does fail.
So I live in the moment,
Taking one step at a time.
And Hashem will help, that soon enough,
I won’t relate to this rhyme!

Message from the author: I’m a 16-year-old girl struggling with OCD intrusive thoughts that lead to anxiety and panic attacks. You can contact me by email at ocdgirlwith@gmail.com. Thank you for reading!

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