The following poem was selected as one of the winners of this year’s Refuat Hanefesh Creative Expression Contest. Age group: College and Up. It has been lightly edited.
My Son
My Son you came in this world giving us so much joy
Your future flashed before my eyes, my sweet little baby boy
You were such a quiet, passive baby, so easy at first
I thanked Hashem daily for this amazing child I had B”H (with the help of Gd) birthed
Then things started to not come so easily to you as they should be
Walking, talking and even responding to us these stages we just didn’t see
We tested you for hearing loss because we worried you might be deaf
The test ruled out many different disabilities until only one was left
Gd made you a person with autism and for that fate I did weep
The pain and shock I struggled with and the deep sadness it did seep
But then your father said these words and it penetrated my heart – dear son
“Thank you Saadia for being my child; I wouldn’t trade you for anyone”
These words shook my world and made me truly realize
While we can’t choose our parents, our siblings or even the color of our eyes
I can choose to appreciate every gift that is given to me
My dear son Saadia you are very special it is as plain as day to see
You live in this autistic bubble that makes every second tough for you to deal
You are so wrapped up in this that we may forget that you do hear all and feel
You are a soul given to us to care for, you to have a purpose on this earth
While we are not privy to the reason, every soul down here has great worth
So now it is your Bar mitzvah; you will turn 13 today
Though it won’t look like others bar mitzvahs, our thanks to Hashem we will say
Thank you my son for the gift of teaching me to have deep faith that is unwavering
Thank you to all the angels that stand with you keeping you safe, you they are favoring
While you have no words to speak you are able to say amein
You try your hardest on Shabbos from the iPad you do refrain
You love to cuddle and be held even as you grow taller than me
You try to lead me to what you want showing me your world and what you hear and see
You work very hard to not be a burden or bring me much stress
Helping yourself to everything in my cupboard and making a huge mess
You try to be independent and sometimes it is really great
Other times I pray that your angels keep extra eyes and hands on you making sure you are safe
I am just a mother making the rules up as I go
Sometimes the answer is Yes; sometimes maybe and lots of times NO
While I don’t know what the future holds for you my dearest darling son
Thank you for being my Saadia, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone.
Happy Bar mitzvah my Saadia!
Love Mommy
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- Poem: Poem About My Autistic Son For His Bar Mitzvah - August 18, 2019
Such a beautiful tribute to your son. It touched me deeply put tears in my eyes. I also am blessed with a autistic son. But I can’t express my feelings as well as you. He’s blessed to have a Mother like you