Message from the author: Dear fellow sisters and brothers, I wrote the following poem to validate my shame and pain. And then I thought to share it with anyone else who can relate. Maybe you are a holy jew with mental illness, or maybe you have a spouse, sister, brother, son or daughter with a mental illness. I hope my words will resonate or enlighten you as to what people with mental illness really go through, the beauty of an anguished mind, and the sparkling potential that each one of us possesses.
If only mental illness was contained just in the brain!
Then, maybe I would be able to cope with the pain
Tell me, is there a way to explain
That besides for my mind, my body also feels insane?
I feel real lame
With my constant, almost nagging refrain:
‘I’m not feeling ‘well’.
It seems my pleas are in vain.
I need someone to understand
Hold my hand
Bring me back to wellness land.
Because the panic I feel in my head,
Or the depressive thoughts heavy as lead
Also ache in a very physical way.
It starts in my knees-my body starts to sway
I lie down breathing deeply
Waiting for the pain to pass, please hashem
Make it go quickly!!
Then the anxiety hits my middle,
My stomach is in knots, the constant nausea is a riddle.
Tension makes my neck stiff and tight
So bad it hurts looking to the left or right
A migraine develops- a never ending hot band of pressure
The agony is beyond measure
I am tired of pill popping
The cure is out of my reach
I learn to treasure my role
Embrace my suffering soul
So divine, infinite and sensitive
Special designed to help me live
To make a difference to others, to give
This inspiring perspective
Helps me look beyond the major pain I can see that good things grow only with rain.
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