The Experience of Talking About Healing in Mental Illness

[Hello My Name Is…]

Swirling snow;
serpents at our heels.
My body buzzes;
muscles shivering.

Tension crawls –
beneath my skin,
and my mask –
begins to crumble.

My stomach hurts;
I am afraid.

I face a semi-circle;
eyes in faces stare at me.
It’s time for me to tell the truth,
let everybody know –
“I Am”

My tears are slow and silent,
they slide backwards-
absorbed behind my face.

Yet-
The Composure cannot falter;
my stance must say,
that I am present,
I am tall.

Pressure in my joints, as
my body
knows –
Release is coming.

How can I let myself
spill out so much truth?
My inner-me is screaming.
Stop!
Don’t let them see…

The truth, I am.

I am leaving my years in Egypt,
my comfortable entrapment
– home.
Where my body is a cage,
and my soul is kept enslaved.

I know the path to freedom,
crosses a parted sea –
but my ankles are still soaking,
and my feet encased in mud.

The Promised Land
is not a land of glory-
nor does it promise to
flow with milk and honey.

No –
it is a land where truth,
through struggle,
emerges.
Where words –
a source of healing, quench
a throat still parched.

And, yet – me, here,
standing in the semi-circle –
No staff nor wand in hand,
breathing deeply,
letting go –

Hello, my name is …
Hineini
I Am.


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Yali Szulanski
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