The following poem was selected as a 1st place winner of 2022’s Refuat Hanefesh Creative Expression Contest.

Age Group: Adult

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Message from The Author: This is a poem about the personal struggles with OCD.

I’ll only have a good day if I put my left shoe on first
Then my right goes on with ease
It’s just a little thing I do to please
Because if I don’t, something bad will happen
I just want a good day

I’ll only have a good day if I count backward by threes from 100 while brushing my teeth
Only to realize I’m stuck with numbers that I need to fix
So I start again, and this time let’s be smart, I’ll start with 96
Because if I don’t, something bad will happen
I just want a good day

I’ll only have a good day if I pump the soap three times while washing my hands
It’s three sets of three, three times
A total of nine
Until my brain feels fine
Because if I don’t, something bad will happen
I just want a good day

I’ll only have a good day if I enter the room just right
My body protests! But my mind gives no objection
Back and forth through the doorway with perfection
Because if I don’t, something bad will happen
I just want a good day

I’ll only have a good day if I reread the same line over and over
It was fine once through
But I continue just until I believe that’s true
Because if I don’t, something bad will happen
I just want a good day

A good day will appear when I stop complying with the compulsions
When I stop listening to the intrude
That day is in my future
When I am finally free of the senseless reasoning
When the thoughts no longer haunt the entirety of my soul
That day is the goal

When my existence is not merely surviving
When I can finally breathe the air of release
That day brings peace